i thought too long about dying i forgot how to feel alive waves of nausea wash over me it's snowing and i know it's hard to breath you say things like i'll always love you but every night i'm locking up my room but you just can't quite get it right in your head to get yourself up out of bed up out of bed up out of bed up out of bed i feel myself dissolve into a misremembered fog where we don't know where it all begins and it's coming up feeling again

is it raining outside or am i melting is someone tricking my eyes i feel like smoking everyday is just the same old bullshit on repeat and i don’t know if this is something i can keep up on everything if i try my hardest and god knows i’ve tried my hardest this must be some fucked up daydream i’m lost out here and i can’t trust what i see i don’t know who i am or who i wanna be and i don’t know if you hate or love me feel fucking nauseous everyday don’t know when it will go away maybe i’ll finally feel at home when i can call this life my own this song is just the same damn bullshit on repeat but i won’t stop singing it until you start listening you start listening this must be some fucked up daydream i’m lost out here and i can’t trust what i see i don’t know who i am or who i wanna be and i don’t know if you hate or love me

i guess it's a little immature but you're someone to someone special to me i guess i'm a little insecure so please never let go of me what's your name? don't tell me i can figure this out by myself what's your name? don't talk to me i can swing and miss this by myself i can hold a bat all by myself i can fuck this up all by myself i can fuck this up all by myself i'll keep praying to cantido my god of fire i'll keep burning keep burning all my candles watch the flames burn brighter i'll keep praying to cantido my god of fire i'll keep burning keep burning all my candles watch the flames burn brighter we both know people are scary so we'll just run away and never see them again we both know the future is scary so we'll never grow up keep on playing pretend i'll keep feeding the idea that things are never ever gonna gonna get better i'll keep feeding my fear that the world is gonna let you and you will never make it out the world is gonna let you and you will never make it out the world is gonna let me and i will never make it out the world is gonna put me down and i will never make it out i'll keep praying to cantido my god of fire i'll keep burning keep burning all my candles watch the flames burn brighter i'll keep praying to cantido my god of fire i'll keep burning keep burning all my candles watch the flames burn brighter brighter and brighter and brighter and brighter brighter and brighter and brighter and brighter brighter and taller and hotter and lighter brighter and taller and hotter and lighter i'll keep praying to cantido my god of fire i'll keep burning keep burning all my candles watch the flames burn brighter

smoking in bed watching star trek got it in my head that i'm a lazy piece of shit yeah it's mostly true it's why i write to you maybe if i tell you something i will follow through i just wanna to get drunk again make a fool of myself front of all of my friends and maybe i'll stop having these dreams where i'm never quite the person who you wanted to see decided i like smoking it sure as hell beats drinking maybe soon i'll stop choking on these words i'm eating i think almost halfway i'll think i'll stop right here i wonder if your life would change much if i disappear i wanna all the bad decisions i could make i want to feel like i'm not the person that i hate i wanna take my life and fuck it up i wanna take my life and fuck it up i wanna all the bad decisions i could make (lets ruin this thing we have going) i want to feel like i'm not the person that i hate (lets ruin this thing we have going) i wanna take my life and fuck it up (lets ruin this thing we have going) i wanna take my life and fuck it up (lets ruin this thing we have going) i just wanna to get drunk again make a fool of myself front of all of my friends and maybe i'll stop having these dreams where i'm never quite the person who you wanted to see lets ruin this thing we have going lets ruin this thing we have going lets ruin this thing we have going lets ruin this thing we have going

i've never felt this way before all i want is to forever be yours you're not real but you're real to me you make me smile when i see you on my screen i've never felt this way before all i want is to forever be yours you're not real but you're real to me you make me smile when i see you on my screen on my screen maybe some day we'll find a way to make this longing go away i wish you knew me like i know you i wish you knew me like i know you i know you i've never felt this way before all i want is to forever be yours you're not real not real you're not real to me you make me smile when i see you on my screen i've never felt this way all i want to is to be yours be yours you're not real real real you make me smile my screen

when i'm with you i feel fearless when i'm with you i feel fearless when i'm with you i feel fearless when i'm with you i feel fearless it's messed up and kind of ugly i don't know what happened to me the dark clouds the fuzzy feelings this life doesn't seem anymore appealing i'm all alone here in the harness in the pink light you'll miss this i'm all alone here nothing makes sense i can't give back unless i give less unless i give less unless i give less unless i give less i can't give back unless i give less unless i give less unless i give less unless i give less i can't give back unless i give less when i'm with you i feel fearless life will eventually fall into place if i didn't mind doing that again when i'm with you i feel fearless life will eventually fall into place if i didn't mind doing that again fear i'm all alone i'm all alone here in the harness in the pink light you'll miss this

i think i liked it more when i was on the floor then singing songs about anything was bound to happen i think i could be better if i just let her in maybe im just stupid but i cant fucking stop it i miss those days when i could just pretend i couldnt see my friends i had other plans this weekend i miss those days when i could just sleep in but now im letting you down ignore my problems and maybe they’ll go away visions in the dark when im lying wide awake theres a sinking feeling and i cant quite place it yet all i know is people noticed that i went quiet do you think that theres enough? did you say we could fall in love? i know this years been rough but im proud of both of us she woke up in her room, as she does every morning. she brushes out her hair, now tangled from a restless nights sleep. the bed is a mess of sheets and pillows, left from her futile efforts the night before, empty prescription packets line her desk, dust collects on top of the bookcase. i think i liked it more when i was on the floor then singing songs about anything was bound to happen i think i could be better if i just let her in maybe im just stupid but i cant fucking stop it but i cant fucking stop it but i cant fucking stop it but i cant fucking stop it but i cant fucking stop it i think i could be better if i just let her in maybe im just stupid but i cant fucking stop it tomorrow, she thinks to herself. tomorrow i’ll sort this out. she knows she's lying to herself

i'll keep waiting for you to get back home my feet can only get so sore i'll tell myself i had fun i'll keep waiting for you right here maybe if we work real hard i'll see you once or twice next year is this another colourless page you've read maybe this is why you wake up with blood in your bed maybe this is why i can never lie maybe this is why it happened again is this another colourless page you've read maybe this is why you wake up with blood in your bed maybe this is why i can never lie maybe this is why it happened again come on lets go to the place that we thought only we know everyday is fucking great everyday i'm rotting away everyday is fucking great everyday i'm rotting away everyday is fucking great everyday i'm rotting away lets go to the place that we thought only we know thought only we know i'll keep waiting for you to get back home my feet can only get so sore i'll tell myself i had fun i'll keep waiting for you right here maybe if we work real hard i'll see you once or twice next year everyday is fucking great everyday i'm rotting away

i never thought it could feel so real i'm starting to remember how to feel there's something i can't tell i really hope it's going well when you don't have a single hope in a black abyss you start to wonder if you ever really thought it existed tastes so rotten i think i'm addicted afflicted confused it's no use i know and you know what the future holds bright prospects with muted undertones and we both know what we think about when we lay in bed lying through our mouths i wanna tell you everything about i wanna. show everything i'd do i wanna tell where it's hurts inside i wanna hold you so close at night tell if you think i got a little bit too close i just wanna tell you what i wish to disclose i wanna tell where it's hurts inside i wanna hold you so close at night i wanna tell you what i like about you i wanna tell you what i'm feeling's brand new i wanna take my life and fuck it up i just wanna take a chance on this new love i just wanna take a chance on this new love i want to love again and never fall asleep and then forget all the little things that make it all feel like a stupid dream and it all seems so simple now it all seems so simple now i want to love again and never fall asleep and then forget all the little things that make it all feel like a stupid dream and it all seems so simple now it all seems so simple now