1. |
how to feel alive
02:57
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i thought too long about dying
i forgot how to feel alive
waves of nausea wash over me
it's snowing and i know it's hard to breath
you say things like i'll always love you
but every night i'm locking up my room
but you just can't quite get it right in your head
to get yourself up out of bed
up out of bed
up out of bed
up out of bed
i feel myself dissolve
into a misremembered fog
where we don't know where it all begins
and it's coming up
feeling again
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2. |
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is it raining outside
or am i melting
is someone tricking my eyes
i feel like smoking
everyday is just the same old bullshit on repeat
and i don’t know if this is something i can keep
up on everything
if i try my hardest
and god knows i’ve tried my hardest
this must be some fucked up daydream
i’m lost out here and i can’t trust what i see
i don’t know who i am or who i wanna be
and i don’t know if you hate or love me
feel fucking nauseous everyday
don’t know when it will go away
maybe i’ll finally feel at home
when i can call this life my own
this song is just the same damn bullshit on repeat
but i won’t stop singing it
until you start listening
you start listening
this must be some fucked up daydream
i’m lost out here and i can’t trust what i see
i don’t know who i am or who i wanna be
and i don’t know if you hate or love me
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3. |
cantido
03:14
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i guess it's a little immature
but you're someone to someone special to me
i guess i'm a little insecure
so please never let go of me
what's your name?
don't tell me
i can figure this out by myself
what's your name?
don't talk to me
i can swing and miss this by myself
i can hold a bat all by myself
i can fuck this up all by myself
i can fuck this up all by myself
i'll keep praying to cantido my god of fire
i'll keep burning keep burning all my candles
watch the flames burn brighter
i'll keep praying to cantido my god of fire
i'll keep burning keep burning all my candles
watch the flames burn brighter
we both know people are scary
so we'll just run away and never see them again
we both know the future is scary
so we'll never grow up
keep on playing pretend
i'll keep feeding the idea
that things are never ever gonna gonna get better
i'll keep feeding my fear
that the world is gonna let you and you will never make it out
the world is gonna let you and you will never make it out
the world is gonna let me and i will never make it out
the world is gonna put me down and i will never make it out
i'll keep praying to cantido my god of fire
i'll keep burning keep burning all my candles
watch the flames burn brighter
i'll keep praying to cantido my god of fire
i'll keep burning keep burning all my candles
watch the flames burn brighter
brighter and brighter and brighter and brighter
brighter and brighter and brighter and brighter
brighter and taller and hotter and lighter
brighter and taller and hotter and lighter
i'll keep praying to cantido my god of fire
i'll keep burning keep burning all my candles
watch the flames burn brighter
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4. |
drunk again
02:49
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smoking in bed
watching star trek
got it in my head that i'm a lazy piece of shit
yeah it's mostly true
it's why i write to you
maybe if i tell you something i will follow through
i just wanna to get drunk again
make a fool of myself
front of all of my friends
and maybe i'll stop having these dreams
where i'm never quite the person who you wanted to see
decided i like smoking
it sure as hell beats drinking
maybe soon
i'll stop choking on these words i'm eating
i think almost halfway
i'll think i'll stop right here
i wonder if your life would change much if i disappear
i wanna all the bad decisions i could make
i want to feel like i'm not the person that i hate
i wanna take my life and fuck it up
i wanna take my life and fuck it up
i wanna all the bad decisions i could make
(lets ruin this thing we have going)
i want to feel like i'm not the person that i hate
(lets ruin this thing we have going)
i wanna take my life and fuck it up
(lets ruin this thing we have going)
i wanna take my life and fuck it up
(lets ruin this thing we have going)
i just wanna to get drunk again
make a fool of myself
front of all of my friends
and maybe i'll stop having these dreams
where i'm never quite the person who you wanted to see
lets ruin this thing we have going
lets ruin this thing we have going
lets ruin this thing we have going
lets ruin this thing we have going
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5. |
a song about a cartoon
03:25
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i've never felt this way before
all i want is to forever be yours
you're not real
but you're real to me
you make me smile when i see you on my screen
i've never felt this way before
all i want is to forever be yours
you're not real
but you're real to me
you make me smile when i see you on my screen
on my screen
maybe some day we'll find a way to make this longing go away
i wish you knew me like i know you
i wish you knew me like i know you
i know you
i've never felt this way before
all i want is to forever be yours
you're not real
not real
you're not real to me
you make me smile when i see you on my screen
i've never felt this way
all i want to is to be yours be yours
you're not real real real
you make me smile
my screen
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6. |
harness
03:38
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when i'm with you
i feel fearless
when i'm with you
i feel fearless
when i'm with you
i feel fearless
when i'm with you
i feel fearless
it's messed up
and kind of ugly
i don't know what
happened to me
the dark clouds
the fuzzy feelings
this life doesn't seem anymore
appealing
i'm all alone here
in the harness
in the pink light
you'll miss this
i'm all alone here
nothing makes sense
i can't give back
unless i give less
unless i give less
unless i give less
unless i give less
i can't give back
unless i give less
unless i give less
unless i give less
unless i give less
i can't give back
unless i give less
when i'm with you
i feel fearless
life will eventually fall into place
if i didn't mind doing that again
when i'm with you
i feel fearless
life will eventually fall into place
if i didn't mind doing that again
fear
i'm all alone
i'm all alone here
in the harness
in the pink light
you'll miss this
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7. |
i think i liked it more
04:07
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i think i liked it more when
i was on the floor then
singing songs about
anything was bound to happen
i think i could be better
if i just let her in
maybe im just stupid
but i cant fucking stop it
i miss those days when
i could just pretend
i couldnt see my friends i
had other plans this weekend
i miss those days when
i could just sleep in
but now im letting you down
ignore my problems
and maybe they’ll go away
visions in the dark
when im lying wide awake
theres a sinking feeling and
i cant quite place it yet
all i know is people noticed
that i went quiet
do you think that theres enough?
did you say we could fall in love?
i know this years been rough
but im proud of both of us
she woke up in her room, as she does every morning. she brushes out her hair, now tangled from a restless nights sleep.
the bed is a mess of sheets and pillows, left from her futile efforts the night before, empty prescription packets line her desk, dust collects on top of the bookcase.
i think i liked it more when
i was on the floor then
singing songs about
anything was bound to happen
i think i could be better
if i just let her in
maybe im just stupid
but i cant fucking stop it
but i cant fucking stop it
but i cant fucking stop it
but i cant fucking stop it
but i cant fucking stop it
i think i could be better
if i just let her in
maybe im just stupid
but i cant fucking stop it
tomorrow, she thinks to herself. tomorrow i’ll sort this out.
she knows she's lying to herself
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8. |
waiting
05:20
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i'll keep waiting
for you to get back home
my feet can only get so sore
i'll tell myself i had fun
i'll keep waiting
for you right here
maybe if we work real hard
i'll see you once or twice next year
is this another colourless page you've read
maybe this is why you wake up with blood in your bed
maybe this is why i can never lie
maybe this is why it happened again
is this another colourless page you've read
maybe this is why you wake up with blood in your bed
maybe this is why i can never lie
maybe this is why it happened again
come on lets go
to the place that we thought only we know
everyday is fucking great
everyday i'm rotting away
everyday is fucking great
everyday i'm rotting away
everyday is fucking great
everyday i'm rotting away
lets go
to the place that we thought only we know
thought only we know
i'll keep waiting
for you to get back home
my feet can only get so sore
i'll tell myself i had fun
i'll keep waiting
for you right here
maybe if we work real hard
i'll see you once or twice next year
everyday is fucking great
everyday i'm rotting away
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9. |
I WANT TO LOVE AGAIN
04:25
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i never thought it could feel so real
i'm starting to remember how to feel
there's something i can't tell
i really hope it's going well
when you don't have a single hope in a black abyss
you start to wonder if you ever really thought it existed
tastes so rotten i think i'm
addicted
afflicted
confused
it's no use
i know and you know
what the future holds
bright prospects
with muted undertones
and we both know
what we think about
when we lay in bed
lying through our mouths
i wanna tell you everything about
i wanna. show everything i'd do
i wanna tell where it's hurts inside
i wanna hold you so close at night
tell if you think i got a little bit too close
i just wanna tell you what i wish to disclose
i wanna tell where it's hurts inside
i wanna hold you so close at night
i wanna tell you what i like about you
i wanna tell you what i'm feeling's brand new
i wanna take my life and fuck it up
i just wanna take a chance on this new love
i just wanna take a chance on this new love
i want to love again
and never fall asleep and then
forget all the little things
that make it all feel like a stupid dream
and it all seems so simple now
it all seems so simple now
i want to love again
and never fall asleep and then
forget all the little things
that make it all feel like a stupid dream
and it all seems so simple now
it all seems so simple now
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